Home / Community / Sex & Relationships

I'm a virgin, he's not. He wants to try anal, and doesn't like condoms.

Background info:

I'm 18 1/2 yrs old, I'm the eldest of 3 kids, I'm British, and I live in Belgium ( my mum is the stereotype over-dramatic, super-catholic Irish mum, and my dad well he's the proud type...)

Anyway, growing up, I never really had much of a social life: I was a tomboy, a foreigner... conclusion: not many girl friends, and I wasn't allowed to see boys outside of school...

The closest secondary school was a few towns over, so we all took the bus: I made a few guy friends but never saw them outside of school... I finally made a few girlfriends, but they live 45min away. 🙄😂 And when I was 16, I started homeschooling. So social skills isn't my strong suite 😂.

--> To The Point (FINALLY!)

So back in February, I got back in contact with this guy, a friend of a friend, he was a year ahead of me at school, we had a connection, but never did anything because we both have really strict & religious parents (me: Catholic white girl; him: Muslim boy)

He's in med school in Brussels (about an hour away from me). This September I'll be studying business also in Brussels. We're both away alot over summer, so we made plans to meet up in September.

Anyway, we've been texting and skyping for 2+ hours/ day for about 6 months, and we frequently talk about sex among other things,...

The other day the subject of condoms came up, you see I'm a virgin, and he isn't.

I have 2 questions/ problems:

-1) He wants to have anal sex

-2) He doesn't want to use a condom, especially not for anal.

I haven't physically seen him in nearly 2yrs, I don't even know if, when I see him in a few months, we'll still feel that connection... (but if there isn't that's the end of the problem hehe).

I feel like I'm ready to have sex, but I don't want to rush into things, we've talked about this and he said he would wait until I'm 100% ready, and if I don't feel comfortable with anal then that's ok.

My problem is how do I convince him to use a condom, without 'implying he has or would have an STI',... ( my girlfriends are right bitches 😂)

He says he's 'not worried' about STIs or STDs... He's also a fan of the 'pulling out method' ( my reaction to this was a panic attack, luckily this conversation was had over text.)

My friends are always telling me I worry too much, about everything, and I need to loosen up...

( They find it hilarious that I've never tried a cigarette, and frequently ask if I'll have one)

Am I overreacting? Am I getting worked up over nothing?

What do I do?

Comment