Trouble with In Laws
But it might be me. I have never really felt accepted by his family, and I know that my MIL and I are very different people. There have been multiple situations in the past where my in laws have offered their help and we have accepted it only to hear that either we were ungrateful and should have shown our gratitude more (despite the fact that we said thank you and never asked for their help in the first place, it was offered first) or that they had certain expectations when they offered their help that we didn't know about until after we accepted their help. Now that my daughter has arrived, I find myself not wanted to accept their help at all. They want to buy things for her, or offer to watch her so that my husband and I can have a night out together, or try to anticipate what she'll need if we visit their house. It all sounds really wonderful, and they're really nice about it so far, but all my past experiences with them have made me anxious about everything they're doing. Are they going to come back and say I wasn't grateful enough? Or that I took advantage of their helpfulness? Even really silly things, like my MIL telling me that she brought their high chair and dishes up to the cabin (since we're heading up there to spend a few days with them) makes me wonder if she thinks I'm incompetent. I guess there are really two issues here: my insecurities about how they see me as a parent, and my insecurities about their helpfulness in general. I've tried to talk to them about it, and my husband has tried to help and he knows how I feel, but it seriously feels like a complete disconnect. Like I can't say what I want to say around them, and like I never know how truthful they're really being with me. Can anyone relate? Has anyone found anything that helps?
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