Gender embarrassment?

Why do you think people in 2017 are still embarrassed if they say or do something that is not of their sex (male or female)? Why do they still shame others if someone doesn't act like the gender they identify with?

As an example my boyfriend is always quick to negatively point out my non-feminine qualities, like if I chill on the couch with my legs spread apart, if I swear, have short nails, etc. Like so what? Am I not allowed to have non-feminine qualities just because I identify as female?

And he has a cologne that is made specifically to attract males and females and he won't give me an answer for why he has the cologne. He has also told me he's tried to have sex with a man before years and years ago but refuses to go into any detail other than "we tried anal, it didn't work." And lastly when talking about other males he dislikes, in a private convos between him and I he will always call them "gay" as like an insult. He's also from San Fran so it's not like this is anything taboo to him.

Idk. I'm just wondering why people (or my bf in particular) feels ashamed if they or anyone else doesn't act like the sex they are born as.