i need opinions :(

vivs • I'll be honest with you.
Sorry in advance for the long post i hope some of you take the time to read it. i just need help. I had a step dad since i was 6 its been almost 12 years. He was a cool dude. but around April he started touching me and i was so confused as in why. i never gave him a reason to do so. It happened like 3 times, i never told my mom because i was scared so i decided to leave with my boyfriend. when my mom found out i left i told her the truth. She was super sad and she told me to come back because she would never put a man before her kids, so guess what? trusting my mom i came back. He was gone, but 3 days after i came back he was back. They both act cool, all happy like nothing happened. It breaks my heart because i feel like my mom doesnt care about me and my safety. i was and still am angry. so i left once again . i couldnt keep on beimg surrounded by them. My mom told me to come back and that she was going to take me back she promised me. So, i did. i left all my things at my bf's house because she was going to take me back and she never did, not even to go get my clothes. She tells me that its wrong for me to be staying with my bf. My mother in law even talked to her and asked her nicely to let me go and she still said no. but what she doesnt get is that its more wrong from her to put a man before her daughter. So that man to not feel guilty controls my mom. gives her "presents" and tells her to go pick up my things and even tells her to not let me go and tells her to threaten me that if i leave shes going to take my phone away and blah blah. tbh i dont want to be here. i cant even look at them in the eyes. i feel miserable . i just want to be away from both of them, but my mom is forcing me to be here where i dont feel safe and where i dont want to be at all. what would you all do? just leave without permission and look out for yourself? or be stuck in a place where you feel unsafe? i havent taken action because im honestly scared of my mom. but she doesnt care about me. i feel like shes not realizing that this is not safe for me that im unhappy with her decisions. is it selfish from me if i leave without her permission just because i want the best for my self? ever since this happened ive been having nightmares about him touching me .. i cant deal with it