How do we keep going with a smile on our face each month when it fails ? Why is it so damn hard when there are so many people out there with kids they don't want or neglect ? Why is it harder for the ones that want it the most?

I've lost myself along the way. It's consumed me so much that I'm not even me anymore. Please tell me how you all cope ? 18 months of this shit to fail each month. I know 18 months might not be as long as others. But it's still so damn hard. All I ever do is cry anymore.

I'm done. !! 😰