Who comes first?

Question

Answer

I don't view people in my life like this as competing for a #1 or #2 slot, if that makes sense. 
I'm capable of holding them both in separate, but high esteem.

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It's situational, but usually should be the wife

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He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Answer

It really depends on the reason. Sometimes you need to put your parent first. But any time that you do your family should not suffer (meaning your wife/husband and kids). My dad has picked his wife and kids over his family to the point we no longer speak to that side of the family. My mother never asked him to, all she asked him to do was to tell his mother to stop disrespecting her and being disgustingly rude to her. My dad took that further when his mother refused to stop or apologize. I respect my father more for that- he chose his family who he chose and promised to love and protect. You don't pick your parents- you do pick your wife. 
Religiously my faith also tells us (well men specifically in the Bible) to leave the mother and cleave onto the wife. What it means is that you have to put your family first and care for them first. That doesn't mean you don't love your mother or that you should never be there for them. I personally, fully agree because if you were to put your mother before your wife constantly well your marriage would likely fall apart because her needs and the needs of the family wouldn't be being met. Of course this goes for women and their husbands too in my opinion. We pick our spouses and vow to be their partner- they're your priority.

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Honestly I think if it comes down to that, then the relationship should've never existed. You shouldn't make someone chose between two people that they love.

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I started writing and went off on a rant... Short answer, wife 'comes first'. In the sense that, unless there is an emergency, you should be there helping your wife before helping others...

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I mean I expect my husband to stand up for me if I get mistreated by his family. Or to support my side of something more than anyone else's. Simply because it's key to a healthy marriage to feel like you are supported and your partner will stand by you no matter what.
It's not a competition though. God forbid my MIL ever have a return of breast cancer, her needs would surely come first.

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Mom because for 18 years those babies need you. The man you marry can take care of himself.

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Dang it! I thought it meant like which role comes first 'mom' or 'wife'. I answered wrong once I realized what was being asked. Oops

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My husband had his mom fly in and come stay with us as soon as our son was born and she's so nice but took over everything. She even asked me to start pumping so that she could feed him. Whenever he cried she wanted to hold him. She would brag and kind of scoff to her family how she would 'have to' take care of him when he got fussy (bullshit), she would always beg for him. Later my husband bitched at me because I didn't give her my son EVERY time she offered to take him. 
Even during my pregnancy he would call her after every doctors appointment. Even cervical checks, before me and him even talked about anything. I started feeling like a surrogate. He even tried to call her to get her approval on the baby announcements we had chosen until I said no.
Eventually I told him maybe we could get a divorce and he could quit his job so he could move in with his mom again and they could adopt a child together because I'm the only mother in my sons life.
But I know my husband puts his mom first and I hate it and it's very harmful to our relationship. Him constantly calling her, telling her things he doesn't tell me, etc. weird and annoying

Who comes first?

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