I hate that I'm due in August


I mainly hate that I found out I was pregnant so early in the year. I have had to save my time off for the baby this whole time, and I really, really, need a vacation. I am mentally and physically sore all the time. I go into work just completely ill and can Hardily move. I can't think properly most of the time, and my job is very thinking and organizing intensive. I feel like a failure. I just need a break, as I've gone all year so far without one. If I were half way through the pregnancy, then I could have used all my time off, then it would have reset in January, and I could have used that for the baby...but no... that is. It how it worked out for me. Now I am having a baby during one of the hottest months of the year, and my 'vacation' that I am dreaming of, will consist of sleepless nights with a newborn. I really shouldn't complain. After all, at least my dream of having my child is coming true. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful. I just have a hard time remembering that when I have been working nonstop for the whole year. I get emotional at work sometimes because I am sore and tired. I can't even sleep very well anymore, and I am hating that I live on the third floor. I come home to my husband being away for the second half of my pregnancy, and must take care of my dog all by myself, while I am struggling to even take care of just myself. I don't clean very much of my home because it is just me. I try to take naps around acid reflux... and I haven't cooked since my husband left. I just need a good cry, a good rant, and a long hug from him... I just am tired, and wish that I weren't due so soon. I also hope my husband gets back before the baby is born. I'm so emotional I feel depressed. I can't wait for all this to be over. Please tell me your story. I would like to feel a little less alone.