How would you feel?

We've been together for almost two years and we've only had sex ONE TIME. It's led to multiple arguments and he says I "don't initiate enough." 🙄 lol whatever. Several times I've tried to initiate he turns me down, says he isn't in the mood, etc. We don't live together. I stay over at his place once/twice a week and I've told him that the lack of intimacy makes me feel unwanted. I don't mind sending dirty texts (we only get to see each other once a week anyway) and he says it "makes him uncomfortable." I try to get him to respond and it's like talking to a wall. I know it's horrible to go through someone's phone but I was really insecure and thought he might be doing something else, and he's looking at porn multiple times a week. It's not even porn that has girls that look like me. I'm plus size, and he's looking up shit like Jennifer Aniston bikini pics or Savannah Chrisley topless.

I am so hurt. When I bring it up, he blames me for not "initiating enough." I feel so and unattractive.

I would also like to add that I don't have a problem with him watching porn as long as it doesn't replace me. It seems like it has; that's why I'm upset about it.

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