Advice & Opinions 😓

I am 18, currently been with my only serious boyfriend for a year and a half. I love this kid to death, and I want so badly to conceive a child with him. I feel so GUILTY about it! He doesn't want one atm, which I totally get. Not that we've ever talked about TTC- I'm not trying to get pregnant but I'm not taking extra precautions to not get pregnant... does this make me a terrible person? I feel like if I do end up pregnant I'm fucking him over undeliberately. Although I know when I see a negative test apart of me gets upset because I think I just am looking for change. I've had a few rough patches lately and I keep seeing everyones baby pics and I get jealous cause I wanna feel that bond, i want to be a mother, I always have. I just know I'm not quite grown enough for societies statistics you know? I'm very mature for 18, and I know I would do fine with our jobs, and a place to live and what not. I just don't want people to think I'm TTC even though I wish I could! I need your wise advice ladies, and please - be gentle haha.