Mature reasonable advice? Move with husband or split

Question

Yeah I know this is pretty personal but I would want honest opinions on this. So I have a choice of moving with my husband somewhere pretty far with our first child or staying where we are now. We haven't been going well and only married a few months. I feel he doesn't trust me for no reason , he puts his family Infront of me always and a bit controlling.. just not a great person to be around. Is this how newlyweds are? Is this just the norm no one talks about? Any other newly weds? Happy or going through turmoil? Please be gentle , thanks

Answer

My husband and I didn't live together until we were married. Sure, there is a period of adjustment for integrating your lives, but being newlyweds was blissful. 
He never purposely mistreated me. We were always going out our way to be kind and thoughtful. 
I'd say what you're indicating is a bad sign.

Answer

My husband and I got married in February and had our first child in May so it's definitely been a hard start to marriage and we've had our share of problems.  Personally as much as we're going through a rough patch he's still the man I fell in love with years ago and I know we will work things out. I wouldn't split and make a life alternating decision over a temporary problem but every relationship is different. Good luck!

Answer

Just got married in April and it hasn't been easy.. dealing with each other and our attitudes and it's a lot.. but no matter how hard it gets i know this is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with and i know i will do whatever it takes to make my marriage work.. communication ias a marriages best friend

Answer

Definitely not the norm… The first year can be difficult, but the controlling thing is a red flag, and from women I know that I've gone through abusive situations it almost always starts with mild levels of controlling, and they move so the two of them are isolated, then it gets much much worse… I'm not saying this has to happen to you, but I would be very cautious of moving somewhere where you have no support system with someone that is behaving the way that he is. That's how women get trapped in these awful relationships and stay for years longer than they should.

Answer

My husband and I have been married since September. Since the wedding we gotten pregnant , lost that baby when I was 20 weeks and conceived again. 
We have always had a great relationship and even through the hardest of time, we were strong.
Marriage is not always easy but I don't think it should always be so difficult either. If things are bad to a point where you are thinking of not moving with him I would say don't. Good luck to you.

Answer

Marriage is tough. There is a period of time where you are learning how to live together and adjust to this new life. This can take months and sometimes even years. The only way to get through it is with constant communication! Also when you fight or argue remember your not each other's enemy. Your a team of one of you goes down the whole ship sinks. This doesn't mean don't disagree.... that's inevitable but when you do try approaching a topic in a way that doesn't cause either of you to be defensive. For example instead of "I hate it when you...." you could try " when this happens... I feel." I learned that in marriage counseling and it's been super helpful to me and my husband . We weren't having issues at the time but it was required for his job. It was actually really helpful. If you think things are too far gone to fix, marriage counseling is a great option. A lot of times pastors will do it for free.

Answer

Honestly, the first 1 year and a half were not good for my husband and I after we got married. We fought constantly. There is a transition period. I questioned if getting married was the right decision. Now, we have been married for 3 years and 2 months. Once you pass through the transition period, it's gets better. You have to learn to live with one another and be a spouse. We are now expecting our first child, a girl, in October. I expect there will be more transitioning once she's born, but we are committed. Hang in there! It does get better!

Answer

My husband and I got married April 7th and it's definitely hard. We had been together for almost 4 years before we got married and already lived together for 1 year but I can feel a difference. I've told him that we need to work on ourselves before our daughter comes in September. It's hard for like the first year, so I've been told, but a lot of newlyweds notice a big difference in the first months. You're both adjusting and even though you've been together before, it's so different from just dating. I totally understand your feelings but try and remember the man you fell in love with, it's still him. Talk to him, tell him how you feel about the situation going on. Don't leave at the first sign of unhappiness. It could just be a rough week or so for the both of you. My husband and I have to talk things out just about every week (doesn't help that I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant lol) 
Good luck ❤️

Answer

Honestly there is an adjustment period plus a child on top of it will make it harder

Mature reasonable advice? Move with husband or split

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