Have any one of you had to cut ties with a parent or guardian? What made you?

I don't take this lightly... I'm an adult, married, working, and TTC. I have such a damaged relationship with my mother I have thought maybe it's best that I don't have children (although I'm way nurturing I just find myself terrified).

Let me explain:

Since my teen years, I have slowly but steadily learned the truth about my mother. She is an extreme manipulative narcissist. There were many young photos of my mother and I when I was a baby but as I have learned it was rather a show and a lie.

When my mother wasn't working being an over achiever in work neglecting me... she was sleeping. I think the memories I had so fondly of her when I was very young was due to the fact I tried to rely on the good to get through all the times she was absent and my grandparents cared for me.

My grandparents pushed me to do everything I could dream of. Fed me. Bathed me. Clothed me. Took me to school and doctors. I never understood their role until they died or when they said "you'll learn everything when we are gone how much we did." My mother always put me down. I believe I was bullied so severely by children around me because I never developed a voice around my mother. I was desperate for attention and affection. When I was seven she would slap me and insult me... a B was a cold shoulder and no affection and her missingI always had to push for an A and an A+ or I didn't do enough and I would get cruel restrictions. This went on until I was 15 and she punched me in the face before school while my grandparents were sleeping and I started fighting back. She locked me in a mental ward for a few days feeding them lies which they sorted through when I told my psychiatrist the truth about what was going on and she was worried she would lose her job because social services came to our house. Around my grandfathers death I was violently raped at the house (I had no supervision ever because yeah she was too busy for me). When I told my mom and had another friend who witnessed him entering the home confirm my story she told me no one would believe me--- she didn't. And get over it. She left me home to care for my dying grandfather and grandmother who developed dementia while she did fuck knows what and work.

I dropped out of school and dance (from being in principles list) and got anxiety attacks for not performing to my best ability due to illness and problems I believe stemmed from all the stress with her shit. I had a severe eating disorder that she would tell me how pretty I was with it ... and what was I trying to do attract more men when I got healthy and ate and developed fully. Her physical attacks including trying to teach our dog to attack me and locking me out and calling police on me various times for just crying hysterically and begging for her to just kill me

From then on my mother just started supplying me with money I think as a pay off for the years of abuse I've suffered from her and my paid silence. I was in a really abusive relationship before (I think due to not knowing love from my mother) but I'm out of that thank god. Now I have my dream husband and at my wedding she half paid for she gave us hell including but not only calling her daughter a nigger (I'm biracial) because I pleaded with he to slow drinking and a POS for no reason-- refusing to speak and only showing up a day in advance and calling my husband an asshole after her let her drunken ass into our wedding suite after she forgot her key and calling my friends assholes because they didn't want her with them with her nasty vile behavior.

So she ruined our wedding night... everyone ignored her the day of thank god.

This was a few months ago.

I just have decided I don't want anything to do with her... I think she is very mentally ill and I can't imagine having her in my life any longer. I'm sorry for the long post... but this is more beneficial then any therapy I can dream of or afford at the moment since our wedding a few months ago. I know she will say to the whole family how cruel and easy I am to accept money... but the thing is--- all she ever gave me was money. I don't care anymore. As of today I'm not a little girl she can sickly abuse anymore.