Flicker of hope

My boyfriend and I have been trying for a few months now. I was in a bad marriage before i met my boyfriend and never thought id have kids. Everything changed when i met this guy a year and a half ago. He is what a man and partner should be. I try my best to be patient and not too hopeful with ttc but it's hard when I see how good he is with his 6 year old daughter. I was just 3 days late for my period, finally last night I accepted the excitement and said this could be it. I didn't feel like the period was coming and was going to secretly test this morning. Then aunt Flo rudely interrupted my sleep an hr before I was to get up. What do you do to stay hopeful but not feel completely devastated every month? I'm a hot mess of tears right now, I really thought this was it.