pink mucus like blood during period time.

I always tend to look up stuff to make me feel better, maybe if the website says it is pregnancy than I will feel better... but it never works in my favor. I look for that glimmer of hope but it never comes. Why do I try to fool myself... I am just one day late, yesterday I should have started. Than I start to hate my body, Wtf is wrong with you? Why do you just keep failing, time and time again you loser? I took a test strip I bought from wish.com and it was a negitive, than the pink mucus like blood happened. Better luck next month to me. I can't tell people in my rl my feelings but I am losing hope after the two miscarriages I had last year.