I really hate venting about him and I try to keep my posts positive or our lives just for us. But here just comes a point man. It's been going on a week. 😔

My husband has been picking at me A LOT recently. He usually starts to get picky once a month. I thought I put a stop to it a few months ago, but here we are again.

"you're just lazy."

"Oh, you're leaving the baby with me? Got it. Baby..mommy doesn't want you right now. She's gonna go take a bath...or go to sleep. She doesn't want you."

"You never clean the house"

"You never do the dishes"

"You never do the laundry"

"You're always in your room"

"When was the last time you did *such and such*"

"You just never do anything"

"You never cook dinner."

"You never spend time with the kids"

I'm a stepmom and we have the kids for the summer. Disclosure: I love them. But by golly, They are so horribly behaved. They do not listen to me. They always argue. They're mean to each other and they are constantly tattling on the other. I have to step away many times throughout the day because of their behavior. (And that is by going to my room to take a breather) He is gone at work all day and gets to see them from about 6pm-9/10pm each evening. Same with their mother. I am the ONLY person who is with these children for more than 6 hours at a time and they are a huge massive truckload of work. Excuse me that I'm tired. They never pick up after themselves. "Tell them what to do!" You say dear husband? Yeah, I've tried that. Remember when I said they don't listen to me? I mean it. They don't listen to me. My son is 1. He takes naps from about 10:30am-1pm and then another nap from about 3:30-5. I'm also 16 weeks pregnant and I'm exhausted. So yeah, I nap when he naps. I get the kids food and settle them in with Netflix or crayons and coloring books and I go nap while my son also naps.

We are so behind on laundry and dishes. I used to do a load every day of both but I'm just super tired! "Your second trimester is the easiest" you say dear husband? Oh that's nice to know. However, your second trimester with your second baby and chasing a one year old is not easiest. Also, my morning sickness decided to come in now. Bet you didn't know that. Why? Oh. Because you didn't ask.

I'm not lazy. I'm tired. I'm not always in my room. I'm in my room when I'm taking a break from the kids. I don't shove my son off on my husband. I let him spend some time with him when he gets home from work and I take advantage of that and go take a bath or go to the bathroom in PEACE. but he doesn't see it as that. He thinks I'm trying to pawn off my son. I LOVE my son. So freaking much but he jumps and climbs on me and my belly all day. My sciatica is horrible this time around. My son still wakes up at night to eat. I was doing training for a job which required me to wake up at 6:45am. I already wake up 5-6 times a night to go pee and then 1-2 additional times to feed my son.

"You don't get up with him. I do". No dear. I ask you to get up with him, and you either 1) will. But bitch about it. Or 2) not. And not even wake up and realize I have gotten up.

"You didn't even change his diaper!! That's why he's crying! You're so lazy." Oh. You mean when I woke up with him 3 hours ago and checked him and he wasn't wet, and now he is after drinking 8oz? Go figure dumbass.

God, am I lazy and a horrible mother/stepmother? I really don't feel like I am. Like I remember my mom always complaining that our house was messy but I never remember it being messy. And I don't think our house is dirty. It's just a bit of a mess from having all the extra stuff from the kids being here. I think having happy kids are more important. And my stepkids like me. They just don't listen because they're never had to. I try to teach them but it's hard. And today I get bitched at the most because I put my son in the pack and play downstairs with them while they're watching some tv show. They're all happy and fine and I'm spending a bit of the morning in my room. Where it is quiet. My first day off. What makes that so bad?