I am no longer afraid of monsters because I loved one

When I was 14 I met a boy at my school who was a year ahead of me and we instantly hit it off. After a month of dating he took my virginity because he made me feel like that's what I was supposed to do. That August I turned 15 and started my sophomore year in the same week excited to be spending every day with him. I had my hair cut short before school started but I had to keep it in a ponytail because he didn't like short hair. I had to wear pants and t shirts that covered up so guys wouldn't look at me. This was my first relationship. It's normal, right? Then I wasn't allowed to have colorful or graphic t shirts because that would draw attention to me, no makeup, no jewelry because someone would notice me. A calculator thrown at my head in a crowded hallway because he loves me, right? Don't talk to any guys because they only want to sleep with me and I'm a slut who doesn't know how to control myself. Then the slap. The slap across my face that broke my spirit and my will to live. The slaps turned into punches and pushing. Demanding me to cut myself because no one would care if I killed myself. Blacking out and screaming just to get away from my life. Being forced to have sex at school because that is what couples do. No talking to anyone including teachers because I should only talk to him. Breaking my book bag, ripping apart my notebooks because he found a note from a friend of mine. Slamming against the door so hard that I couldn't breathe. Kissing me and telling me if I would just listen he wouldn't have to hit me. I finally fought back. Punched him as hard as I could and walked away. A year of my life was stolen from me. I lost countless friends including one who would die 2 years later. I was beaten at school by a 16 year old boy who thought that abusing me and controlling me was love. I am now 23 years old and still flinch when my husband touches me too quickly or gets mad. Abuse doesn't have to start out with physical violence. It can start as simple as saying don't wear your hair like that because I don't like short hair. No matter your age, marital status, sexual orientation or gender do not let yourself go through what I went through. It will leave lasting scars that will never fully heal and no one deserves the life I lived. If anything I've said sounds like something you're going through, leave before it's too late.