Laugh at my stupidity, but don't judge me. ☺️

First off let me say that I am extremely stupid for this, laugh if you must. In all seriousness, my boyfriend and I are kinda horn dogs at times. So, these three weeks have been hard. For him extremely hard, like literally. 😂 I've been trying to suffice him with the occasional head or whatever he really asks for. Tonight was no different, he asked. I told him yes. Something happened and things got way out of hand. This was totally on me, cause he was perfectly fine with what my mouth was doing & humping my leg like a dog. I feel bad for the poor fella, I mean what's he supposed to with himself?! He doesn't watch porn so he's just been in a drought. Well, he decided to get touchy cause I mean it's in the moment & he always tells me I'm the most attractive person in the world so he likes to get handsy occasionally. Something inside of me just went haywire. I don't know what happened but in my moment of weakness I told him to "just put a few inches in, if it hurts I'll tell you to stop" THIS WAS SERIOUSLY ALL ME, he never asked. He was perfectly content but my dumbass self wasn't. 🙄 It didn't hurt at all, he was being very careful not to jam it in, cause I know you're not supposed to have sex after birth for many different reasons. Obviously I didn't give a shit at that point. welllllll, the little turd forgot that in not pregnant anymore and he has to pull out. Soooooooo, he came a little bit inside me. He realized what he was doing and jumped 10 feet in the air once I started screaming. I love my baby, but by no means am I ready for another. Birth was cake, pregnancy was miserable. What's the chances that that made it up to my baby machine? Someone tell me something positive. For the last hour all I've done is puke. Like I said in the beggining Im dumb for making that decision but it is what it is.