I got divorced a few years back and found my way into bdsm. I had a strictly sexual ddlg relationship...i mean we talked, he was there for me, but we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend we both were free to see other people . that ended and I started dating my now boyfriend. I met my boyfriend through work. we have roughish sex. he might pull my hair, or bite my nipples. very rarely he will lightly choke me. but I want more. every aspect of our relationship is amazing. I just don't know when or how to say "I need you to choke me, and spank me till I'm bruised" let alone will you tie me up and use toys on me. or even anal. I need help on how to work the bdsm into my relationship without freaking him out. I also don't want to push him out of his comfort zone. I'm afraid I'll open my toy drawer and he'll take one look and run.