Cutting.

I'm not super suicidal, I do have the occasional times where I just feel done. But apparently according to all my friends, cutting myself means I'm going to kill myself. The point of cutting, at least to me, is to relieve tension so I don't get to the point where I do want to kill myself. In the past I have had suicide attempts, and I think this is scaring them. But they are making me feel like my world is caving in, I'm glad that they care and all, yet it's like its suffocating me. The guy I am currently talking to said he went through what I did, and that it was easy for him to change his mind. But to me it's not that easy. And it's like I'm not getting any better. In fact it feels like I'm getting worse, and I really hate that. Lately I've been having really bad downs. I don't want to speak to anyone, but I know that if I don't they'll be more concerned and it could cost me some of my friends. I just feel really alone and I don't know what to do.