Trust issues 😔

They ain't no joke!! I hate them so much I get anxiety always and it's all in my head I hope maybe I'm just already going insane!! I can't handle my brain anymore I just want to put a bullet threw it!! It's so unhealthy for me and him too much stress 🤕 I get jealous for the stupidest littlest things (ex. when he plays online with other girls) just the most stupidest s***!! Wanna hear another crazy thought of mine? Dnt judge me but one time he woke up early because they knocked on out bedroom window and well I stayed in bed because he got up to check (and it's usually his dad or little cousin) and I heard some dishes being moved from the table and rattling around in my mine it was a girl and he was f***ing her on our kitchen table like wtf 😒🤦🏻‍♀️ and all this started when I caught him trying to hollar at a girl back in April!! And I found out in late May when I looked threw his phone I was so devastated because by then I was 5 weeks pregnant and he knew that and it was his idea to have this baby I might sound horrible but I didn't want anymore kids but he wanted this baby so bad I gave in and we got preggers the horrible things he said was just heartbreaking but he begged me it was nothing and blah blah blah and my dumbass gave in with thee exception that when ever I get a bad feeling I would look threw his phone and such and he agreed omg guys and crazy thing was I dreamt it no lie I dreamt that he was msgn with another girl a week after he had done it I swear to God and I even reminded him about it and he replied with "yeah I knw it made me feel like shit when I denied you asking me if I was up to no good" well anyway that's my dilema and I feel that I should just leave because I dnt think I'm ever going to trust him again and well if that's the case why put myself threw that agony and him and myself threw that stress!! He tries at times but it's just not enough call me selfish but I want the reassurance and he really ain't patient enough to wait for me to come around and trust him I'm always accusing him and bitch and bickering about nonsense well so he says I didn't mention to him about the whole me thinking of having sex with another girl that morning in the kitchen only about the playing online with other females I'm just so insecure and I feel so immature ugh!! Wtf