There are issues with a misogynistic society. It brings out the worst of everyone. This I feel is shown clearly within my family. I don't know if it's because my father was raised the youngest of seven children so he was used to getting what he wants, but what I know is that the Chinese culture that favored sons over daughters takes a terrible toll on my family. I love my culture. It's beautiful and ancient, but there are certain aspects that I can't help but feel are helping to tear on our family structure. Maybe by itself it wasn't an issue, but combined with the woman's ability to work in modern America, it's creating strife in my family. As a Chinese male, my father feels that he's entitled to control my mother, me, and my sister. Because my sister and I are his children, I don't object to his control, although I may choose to rebel against it. However his treatment of my mother is what doesn't sit well with me. When we were children, my mother stayed home to take care of us because finding a nanny or sending us to childcare so she can work wasn't worth it. She'd either barely make the amount she had to pay or she had to pay more than she earned. Plus, our mother would take care of us better than strangers could. During that time my father told her basically that he owned her because he fed her and that she brought no income into the family. He told her she didn't do shit in the house. She cooked and cleaned. When we came to America, my mother hoped to escape some of his abuse by opening her own office. Well now he was upset at her for not cleaning the house. You see, I go to school at 7 am, and because my parents want a better education for me, my school is 45 minutes away. My mother wakes up at 5 every morning and comes home at 6 from her job. She works Saturdays and goes to church on Sundays. My dad gets Saturdays and Sundays off. And yet he expects her to do all the housework she did when she wasn't working. And because he thinks that she isn't earning a lot, he still claims she is being fed by him. The truth is, in order not to hurt his ego, she didn't tell him that she earned, through God's love, equal, if not more than him. She took the extra money each month and puts them into a bank account for their retirement because my father cant save money as much as he tries. I didn't understand how much abuse she took until the two weeks she went to china to visit my grandparents, whom she hasn't seen in a decade. During those two weeks I felt so trapped, and so oppressed. Through those short two weeks I learned that he's too proud to even apologize to the daughter he loved the most: my sister. He lashed out at her for no reason, and could not even humble himself and say the one word that mattered: sorry. That's what my mother felt for over 2 decades. She would have left him a long time ago. But she wanted me and my sister to have a complete family. She's a Christian so doesn't believe in divorce. If I were her, I wouldn't have the strength to stay with a man who treats me this way. Some of you may remember when I posted a picture of me in a floral tank that molded to the shape of my body. I chose to wear that this last weekend to a safe place where I knew no one was going to hurt me or judge me for what I wore. I wore the top that made me feel confident in myself to church. He threw a fit. He claimed that if anyone were to live in his house they weren't allowed to dress in that manner. But he loved me too much to tell that to my face. Instead he yelled at my mother. You see, the worst part was none of this was surprising. My mom didn't even bat an eye. Because she was used to it. She was used to him claiming to be the boss of the household and being the most irritable person in the world. This is what happens when a man feels a woman isn't equal to him. He does things that are unreasonable and feels it is reasonable. Because of what he did and has done, I can't bring myself to love him deeply. He loves me. I know. But how can I love someone who hurts someone close to my heart? And this is what happens to men who don't view women as their equals. Their children can't even bring themselves to love him. How can I when one of my most vivid memories is holding my younger sister as she cried as we both heard the shouting match that just as well might end up as a wrestling match. My parents wonder why I grew up so quickly. They wonder why a Christian like me supports other woman's right to an abortion. It's because I don't wish what's happening in my family on anyone else. This is not only an issue that pertains to women. If you ask my father, I'm sure he will tell you he's not happy with his marriage. I don't support feminism just because I'm a woman and want a pay raise. I support feminism because it removes a certain mentality in males that permit them to treat women like my mother badly. I don't want to take away men's rights. I just want to make women feel human.

Sorry for the long post. I had to get this off my chest.