UPDATE: Husband cheated. Help!

My husband and I have been together for 5 years. We have 2 daughters, one who passed away 7 months ago. The other is 18 months. 2 months ago he kissed another girl on the cheek, texted her telling her that she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen (like what the fuck?!?) that he wanted to meet up, KISS HER. And that I meant NOTHING to him. Earlier that week he told me and yes, these are his exact words.

"You fucked up my chance with her. I almost got away from you. I want her. You mean nothing. Our marriage means nothing to me."

The same day he texted her, he blocked her number and came home with flowers saying he wanted me, loved me, realized he only wanted me. I'm so fucking pissed right now. I know it was 2 months ago but yesterday is when I found out he wanted to meet up. He said they never met up and he knew he wouldn't ever actually do it. We were in a really bad place at the time. I just don't know. Should I leave? Should I stay? I'm so confused. I don't know if I'm strong enough to leave but I don't know that I even love him anymore because when I look at him I just want to punch him. Well actually, of course I love him. I'm just seein red. Please help me!

I know I was harsh in these texts but I'm just so livid right now he deserves it

Update: a lot of people told me I shouldn't post all this here, but I don't regret it. The amount of advice/support I got is amazing. I have decided to stay. However, during this time I stay, I'm going to get myself stable. I'm going to get a car, save some money, get everything I need to know that if I leave, I'll be okay alone. I will give him that time to change. If he doesn't and he cheats again, I will stay, but I won't let him know my plans. I'll stay and continue my quest to be stable. Right now, if I left, I'd be on the streets. So if he does it again, I'll make sure to have everything I need. If he changes, great. I'm not worrying about it. I love him but only he can decide to be a better man. I do not trust him at all. He says he has felt like I haven't loved him in years and if I just gave him love and attention he wouldn't even think about stepping out. For the time being, I am putting it behind me. He has decided to get a giant tattoo of my name (his request) I won't stop it. Yes, I'm petty. Extremely petty. I find it funny. If we stay together, maybe some day I'll get one too. But if he cheats, well he will have a giant reminder on his arm about how he fucked up and it will cost him a lot to get it covered 😂😂😂 he bought me a new wedding ring since I lost mine a long time ago. He says he really wants to make things work.

All I know is I need to prepare myself mentally. I have been so scared to be alone. You ladies have made me realize I can do it if needed. I will give this one more shot but if all fails, thank you ladies for giving me the power to know I will walk out of this door with a smile on my face and be the best mother I can be ❤️