Self harm

It has been a year since I have self harmed in any way but here lately I cannot get it out of my head and it's getting harder to resist. I don't know what to do I can't talk to anyone about it because I have already put them through so much and I'm ashamed to admit all the work and tough times we went through to make me better didn't work. Help me please.

UPDATE: I have previously been to counseling and it did wonders but we lost our insurance and don't make enough to afford counseling without the insurance