I would've been holding you in my arms by yesterday. You were due by then. Probably would've been here earlier. I'd be kissing you and holding you and smelling your sweet little baby head. But you're not. You left me way too early. You couldn't make it in this world and now Jesus holds you and God looks after you. One day I pray I'll get to meet you. A boy or a girl. I don't care. I just hope you're ok now. Safe and healthy. My heart breaks everyday for you. I wonder what you would've looked like. What's your name? Would you have my eyes? My ears? My nose? Your brothers really wanted to meet you. I don't think this pain will ever go away. Maybe easier to deal with over the years. Buy never truly go away. You were a surprise but I wanted you so much. My heart is incomplete without you. I love you sweet baby. Always and forever.