Today, I cried not only because I was sad but because I felt sorry for myself, sorry that I was not woman enough to conceive the only thing I wish and pray for.

Today, I felt sad. When I saw after 26 months that little ray of light in your eyes when you finaly thaugh we did it, but I was sobbing because red river started flowing once again.

Today, I am ready to give up. My heart keeps breaking month after months. Soon enough I wont have any pieces to break.

Today, I looked down at my plate, my faithfull medications just aside it. I felt sorry again, sorry that I had to drag my body trough all of this.

Today, I have the right to give up, to feel sad and sorry. It's ok for today to break the rules, have a huge glass of wine, skip my vitamines, take a long, hot, boilling hot bath, stay up late and eat my heart out.

Tomorrow, I will get back up, because honey, I have been praying to long for you to skip a month.

-Kma.