I wanted to have my baby and today I found out the very disappointing gender of my second child but was still filled with happy tears.

But my "boyfriend" and I got into a fight of the ages things (expensive thousands of dollars of things) are broken mostly his. My hormones got the best of me and I just couldn't take the mean things he kept saying and picking at me all day even more so after he refused to stop to let me get food and cancelled my gender reveal party.

I feel heavily depressed, suicidal, and I just don't want to have another baby by myself

To be clear I am not considering this because of the gender, it's just the cherry on top of the cake of bad things that have been going on.