Can i get an advice

I have this bf i madly in love with and to him I'm willing to give everything including my virginity. I know that virginity is not a big issues but bc I'm an asian, so it's that big. My parents would kill me if they know this. Long story short I've been 8months dating (he's 33 and I'm 25) but somehow i feel that we're so unlikely each other. He's too ignorance while I feel emotions too deep. But bc i love him so much i hold on. One day I talked about marriage to him and maybe that's my fault that the timing wasn't right. He's not in the mood, and he told me that he doesn't want to talk abt this. He says he's not ready bc he doesn't hv anything (house cars etc and i know he's feeling insecure) knowing this and i dont want him to misinterpreted what i mean, i said that i want him ONLY to start thinking about life goals, its not like i want to get married soon, i said that i never wanted anything luxury bc really, being with him is enough for me. I even ok with no cars or just a rented house. I feel upset because it seems like he's not thinking abt it, and i just need a closure. The goals i wanted is just to be settled so we can start saving up from now. He doesn't read my text and not even replying to that topic after he replied. He's said that he was dizzy and he's abt to sleep. And then i found him online on some application. I got very upset and emotional so that night i ended up asking him abt break up. He doesn't even say yes or no he just says that he wants to sleep. And in the morning all my contacts are blocked. I feel terribly bad and i regret that i took a decision based on my feelings. I said sorry so many times but he's not even replying. I know he read it. Now I'm left with 2 options, i left him but feeling guilty bc it seems like I'm the bad person here or keep waiting for him. Please, any advice would be so helpful. I'm sorry for my broken english.