Well to start it off, i was raped last october, a freshman in college. I dont like talking about it much bc i did so much wrong in this situation and i cant help but feel like its all my fault. Anyways, I used to get really bad PTSD after it happened and then i thought I was over it until April, when i took these edibles. I took so much that i was hallucinating and i just had this feeling that everyone just wanted to touch me or hurt me in a sexual sense. I ended up crying and locking myself in my room bc of it. Then when i was sober i thought it was just a one time thing and i was over it. But i went to a party last night and i drank and smoked and ended up cross faded. I was having fun until i had to go to the bathroom, and my friend didnt want to come with me. Then it went downhill and i went back to being scared of people. I ended up crying and i couldnt stop or shake it off. I was just in panic. I just wanna know how i can stop all this ptsd and just go back to being a normal teenager/young adult and just live my life. I just hate feeling like a victim :(