I feel like I could do better

I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. He doesn't have a job because he gets SSI and he dropped out of high school. We both have very different lifestyles. While he struggles to make ends meet, I never had to worry about anything like that. We started "dating" after a hookup, so it's not like we've done a lot of dating. When we do go on dates, I have to pay for the both of us. He frequently asks to borrow money, but he almost always pays me back. Sometimes I wish he would pay for a date, or actually buy me a birthday gift. I feel like a horrible person for feeling that way, because he struggles so much. But I feel so under-appreciated.