feel used??

Question

so me and my bf are in a long distance relationship.he's in the navy and he's currently stationed in San Diego while I'm up in LA.Ever since we started having sex I feel like it's all he's going for every time he's up here to see me.He tells me all the time that I can tell him no if I don't want to and that he won't care.But I feel bad about it after all we rarely see each other and he just returned from being over seas almost a month and a half.Even though he always asks me if I'm okay with it and I tell him I'm okay with it,I just end up feeling used by the end of it.should I mention this to him or should I just continue with how it currently is.

Answer

Navy vet here 🙋🏻 I don't think he's using you I just think he misses you. Being away from your loved one sucks and men tend to show their feelings differently. My husband is currently active duty navy and stationed down here in San Diego as well and when he goes on long underways all he wants to do when he gets home is have sex eat the food I made and have a beer or two it doesn't mean he's using me that's just his way of having stress relief. Being in the military is stressful at times and sharing intimacy with your SO is often a way to relax and just de-stress. However he is telling you that you can say no and you shouldn't be having sex with him simply out of guilt that's no fun for anyone involved. Just sit down and talk to him tell him how you feel but also try and see his side of the coin ya know?
And on a side note honestly if all he wanted you for was sex he'd be getting it down here and not making the 2 hour drive to LA but he's putting in the time and effort that most young sailors really don't when they're in long distance relationships. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

That's your choice. He literally told you he doesn't care. You aren't expressing yourself, which is the problem. He has no part in you feeling used.....that's on you. If you don't have sex, and he changes, then you can address it.

Answer

If you don't want to, then you need to tell him no. It sounds like he just really misses you.

Answer

When I got engaged we were immediately separated by boot camp and then after AIT we got married and he then moved to Korea without me for a year. So I understand a bit. I would believe him when he says he is okay with not having sex. I know my husband is transparent so when he tells me things like that I know he's telling me the truth.

Answer

you shouldn't feel bad girl we don't all feel like having sex all the time. he should like you for you! and I'm sure he does. just be honest with yourself and with him!

Answer

If you're not comfortable with it,let him know. You shouldn't feel used. Communication is key, maybe ask him if y'all can have a date night one night and just go out. But let him know you don't just wanna have sex with him. And make sure you watch how he reacts. If he really wants you, he'll be okay with that.

Answer

You have a mouth so you can speak and tell him how you feel. It's your own fault for not telling him.

feel used??

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