I slept with my ex. We hadn't talked in months but a few days ago we finally had it out. He apologized for hurting me and I told him completely how I felt. He is in an on/off relationship. She pushed him into a relationship when he wasn't ready. And now she's pushed him into getting her pregnant. She took advantage of the fact he was under a lot of stress at work and at still being new to the area. He also suffers from depression and anxiety, which does sometimes lead him to drink. During this time she was putting all this pressure on him, he tried to reach out to me but because I had been so hurt I blocked him out. I would ignore his messages. Now I wish I hadn't then he wouldn't be in the situation he's in. When we were originally together we had talked about if I got pregnant. He had brought it up and he was totally for it. I wanted to wait. When we slept together. The subject came up again. He wasn't totally opposed to it with me. I told him I did not want to ad extra stress to his life but if it happens we would deal with it then. He agreed. We did use a condom though. We have decided to be friends that have sex. I am fully aware it might never be a relationship and that I might actually get more hurt. I told him if it gets to be too much for me, that I reserve the right to walk away. He agreed. During our original relationship, we never had sex. A few days ago was our first time together. It felt like we fit. Everything felt easy and comfortable between us. He actually was happy. Which in the few pictures I saw of him and her, he never really looked happy or like he was forcing himself to look happy. She has lied to him about details in her past, especially about her divorce. She has been trying to force him to move in with her, but he has put his foot down. He told her he will pay child support, but he's not sure he can be with her.

I know I might get some hate but I needed to let this out. I'm tired of being the good girl that does what everyone expects and in the end I'm the one that is still unhappy. So for once I'm going to do what I want even though I know I can get more hurt.