So my boyfriend and I have been together since July 2016. We had discussed porn early on in our relationship. Before we had dated, I never saw porn as a big deal despite never being in any long term relationship. Now, it makes me uncomfortable to think about him jacking off to someone else, fantasy or not. He had admitted he did then, which didn't surprise me. He had said he wouldn't because he knew it made me feel uncomfortable. Since that summer, I had asked him a few more times about it, and he reassured me he didn't. Fast forward to May 2017. He lied about why he said he would be late to work, and it was because he was masturbating. When I confronted him about watching porn, he admitted he still did despite telling me he didn't. I was hurt. I felt insecure, betrayed and stupid. After that day, he had said he wouldn't. Again. I had then asked him about it frequently because I became paranoid. I was told no time and time again. So now today. I came to his house at 11, and laid in his bed. He had cum on his blanket that I had put my hand in mistakenly. He usually told me when he jacked off, so I was curious why he didn't. Then the porn suspiciousness came up again, as it always does for me. After him trying to reassure me today that he doesn't, he finally admitted HE STILL WATCHES IT. I was so hurt because this whole time I felt paranoid for worrying for 'no reason' just for my suspicions to be true. He claims it's an addiction and he tries to stop but it's just an urge. I can't help but feel he places porn above my personal feelings. I need some insight on this because I'm trying to make things work but I can't stop thinking about him lying to me, going behind my back, and most of all, getting off to porn. I never wanted porn to be such a big deal but at the end of the day, I want to be what he wants. I'm just so lost right now.

I appreciate any advice, ladies. Thank you.