Depressed young mom
I'm 21 with a 4month old baby. Although I'm on a antidepressant I still feel like shit from time to time & lately thought about killing myself. I feel like a failure. I'm no where I thought I'd be at this time of my life. I thought I'd be in a happy relationship, have my license, be working & have my own place. I constantly make attempts to improve my life but it seems like there's a monkey on my shoulder holding me back. Right now I live with my dad who's very negative. I moved in with him because I had been staying with my mom & it was getting crowded. I had no where else to go since my child's father also lives with his mom & hasn't decided to be apart of our child's life until now. My dad doesn't want me to show emotion when I'm upset & I feel like I'm trapped here . I'm constantly doing the same things every day. He hasn't been a good father at all. He's very verbally abusive & taken his anger out on everyone around him. My mom says he acts the way he does because of things that occurred in his childhood. I wish I could understand that but I don't. I've been in this situation before. I lived with him at 16 & his negative vibe drained me. The first time I lived with him I had got raped by someone I thought was my friend & never told him or anyone but my mom a few months ago. I wish he would've protected me & paid more attention to me at that time instead of drinking & getting high. I hate my life right now but I have my child & my goal is to get away asap. I can't take this much longer. I never thought my life would be like this.