Do you ever feel like you put more into the relationship than you SO?

I'm getting so frustrated that my SO doesn't get the difference between trying in the relationship and supporting us financially. Some days it just feels very one sided. I'm definitely the more emotional one and crave touch to show that he cares and loves me. He's not super affectionate and I get that, but he'll ask for touch from me, but when I want affection half the time he pretty much pushes me away. And his signature saying is "I have to go, I have to work" (most of the time he's just going outside to work on something on our farm) whenever I'm seeking attention/affection. His version of being present in the relationship is working and supporting us. The thing is we pretty much split the bills, I pay the mortgage and he pays the other misc. bills. I Feel like he thinks he pays for a lot more than me because he has a bunch of separate expenses so it seems like he's paying for more, vs. me paying one huge expense. He then turns that into a strain on our relationship like I don't help enough.

Talking to him about it just turns into one huge fight, so I won't even bring it up. I feel like I am always trying to be better and try harder in the relationship and he never tries. My issue is that I have a temper, so I'm always working towards staying calm and not snapping. I know he likes to come home and have everything done - house work and farm work, so I try to have it all done or close to it by the time he gets home. I feel like he has a bad habit of just picking at me about what's not done. even if everything's done and spotless, but one things out of place, he'll go on and on about the one thing that's not done but never mention everything else that is done.

I just can't deal with the constant nagging/bitching about the one thing that's not done with no mention to what is done, and the constant throwing it in my face what he pays for like I pay for nothing. Then almost punishing me or spacing out by pulling back on the emotional/ physical level. The biggest issue is that I can't talk to him about any of it because I don't want to argue. He's not like this everyday, but he'll get caught up in it sometimes and I try so hard not to add to it by blowing up and screaming, while he sits there and continues on with no thought of trying to be better in the relationship.