A bit of understanding, anyone?


I'll try to make this as clear and short at possible.. but follow me.

Before I got pregnant I always found ways to get what I needed to get done. I never liked asking anyone for anything. (Life experiences) anywho, I met my boyfriend and he was just the giving type no matter how many times I told him I didn't need any help or anything.. he made sure I was good before I could even say so. Which was cool, I really appreciated him for it. Anyways fast forward alittle.. we got PREGNANT. Early on in the pregnancy I was having round ligament pains really bad and my job wasn't doing anything to help me out.. I started taking days off. We got our apartment together. He pleaded and pleaded to pay all the bills hisself. He felt he was making the most money and didn't want me to pay anything. I came to accept it esspecially because I wasn't working as much as I would like. Plus this is something he thought he should do as a man. To each their own. I became 5 months pregnant and the pains became enough. I didn't want to keep putting myself or baby through it. My midwife even wrote a letter to my boss about my restrictions, my job just told me to come back after having the baby since they weren't able/willing to accommodate me. My boyfriend seemed to be fine with it. I stay home and do everything around here and he goes to work. If this is hurting anyone, it's me. I try to find other things to do but I feel like I'm just living free. Plus I tend to need things and I hate asking Him for things because I know how his family and friends feel. I see they always say I'm using him or I'm 'breaking his pockets'.. when in reality I know I'm not! My boyfriends siblings only call him to ask for things and get things from him and he's so used to being the caregiver he doesn't see a major problem with it. His siblings are a year younger than him. He's 30, so his sister is 28 and his brother is 29. Their father is still around and he's still doing for him as long as it's not crazy stuff.. then they come to my boyfriend and he gives them money every week when he gets paid. Like LOTS of money and they never pay it back.. EVER. I didn't think it was my place to say anything but we have a child on the way and I just feel like it's time to stop taking care of your siblings like they are his children. I expressed this and he seemed to understand but now he tries to give to them in secret. Then to top it off when I ask for things I need to just a couple bucks to put in my pocket or for food or anything.. he gives me the cold shoulder and makes remarks about getting a job. I can't get a new job because no one is going to hire me. I'm 6m 2w pregnant. I would be leaving for maternity leave soon now. It got so bad that my car is under his name I been trying to figure out how to make money to help him pay for things because even his friend made a remark like.. 'she needs to go make some money'.. and I'm hurt because when I need to lean on you, I can't! And I'm pregnant with our child! I've been trying to find ways to make some kind of money. I mean even thinking of crazy shit it's gotten that bad! I went to a food delivery place as well and I can't do that because my insurance is under his name and when I told him, I thought he would just add my name and he replied back to me to go and get my own insurance. He knows I don't have money. I'm hurt. I've been really short with him lately. He came home, I took a long bath to avoid him and he burst in the door talking about jobs.. telling me why don't I go and get another restaurant job or something. I just don't know what to say. I know he knows I didn't lose my job, I'm on leave. Who tells their pregnant girlfriend to go and find another job at almost 7 months pregnant! What hurts is this is when I'm at a time of need and you treat me like this but when I told you no in the beginning you did anyway. Your siblings don't work and live off of you and you have no complaints! They call him day in and day out (LITERALLY) asking for money! And when he says no they curse him out and he calls back and gives it anyways! Their mother is in the Philippines and his siblings don't do a thing for her.. my boyfriend pays everything for her EVERY week! She ask for money EVERY WEEK. Even sent her thousands to move back here and she never came and he continues to send money. They have no regards for the fact that we have a child on the way and he should be saving if anything. But he treats me like this. I'm so hurt, I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean. I don't know what to do. Last night I just wanted to be left alone to process things and figure out what to do to make money and stop asking him for things. Another reason I really wanted to make some money was because of his birthday is in a month and a half and I wanted to do something special but what kind of motivation is this. He left some money on the table but I don't want it. I need it but I don't want it; I don't want him to give me money because I'm upset.. I wanted him to give it because I needed it. I hate feeling like i'm stuck in a hard place and a fuckin rock or feeling like I need anyone! This is why I tried to protect myself from this in the beginning because of this. I can't take it because the reasons hes giving it and because i know how he feels about giving it to me but I fuckin need it. This hurts so much, I have even been contemplating on selling my underwear and stuff to creepy people online.. he even suggested it because this is something I did in the past.. LIKE WHEN I WASNT PREGNANT. I just don't understand who would do this. Does anyone understand me? I don't know what to do!