Help meeeeee

So im straight, but recently i've been wanting to get a binder and like cover my boobs, which is like an AA. i do want to keep my long hair ofc. and i also want to juz act more like a guy. like wanting to go undercover or just blend in as one of the guys/camouflage(?) . i dont really get myself but is it just curiousity or something else? or is it that i just want the thrill of almost getting caught? but it doesnt really seem like it. im really confused by this and can anyone help? shld i try it out and get a binder?