How do I know?

Polyamorous or Cheater:

How do I know what I am?

I feel so lost. First off, I want to say that i didn't know that poly was an option until last year. The only "multi" sort of relationships I've known about are swingers and polygamists. I've tried swinging, but my partners are never as interested as I am. I am not interested in polygamy for several reasons.

I have attempted to maintain monogamous relationships for 12 years. I have cheated on a majority of my relationships, but not for sexual reasons like most cheaters. Most of the time, I will form an emotionally attachment to someone, and eventually find myself fully invested in their lives both emotionally and romantically. I have always been honest and upfront with new partners explaining that I have a history of cheating, I am an excellent liar, and I have never been caught. I explain that I will always eventually tattle on myself, and it usually ends the relationship. People still continue to show a great deal of interest in me, and even when these habits come to light, they are shocked that I could have done this to them.

My current partner, like all the rest, was fully informed at the beginning of our relationship. At the beginning of the year, I began to hang out with his friend who is polyamorous. She explained the life style to me, and it occurred to me that this might be what I've been missing! I spoke with my partner, and after a few weeks, he decided we would give it a shot. I decided that his friend would be the best option of a partner for him because I thought we could trust her. Long story short, after only a week my partner decided I couldn't be with another man, and I decided that his partner was attempting to break us up. My partner has been too afraid to try again since our last experience. This has ruined our relationship. I'm no longer attracted to my partner, even though I still love him. I want him to accept me for you I am. I think that will help us.