Do you judge parents for their kids actions?

Question

I was reading the book "Nineteen Minutes" which is about a boy who shoots up a school and kills a lot of fellow classmates. It tells the story from all different perspectives, including his mothers. She was getting a lot of backlash and hate for this. I know this is a fictional example, but real things like this do happen. So, do you judge a parent for the horrible things their child does? Do you judge the way they raised him/her? Why or why not?

Answer

Nope. I know plenty of terrible people with the sweetest, most kind parents who are completely devastated by how terrible their children act.

Answer

I would withhold judgement unless it came out that the parents saw potential signs of trouble and failed to act.

Answer

No, but if the child had died after the incident or was serving time you can't help but be angry at the parents because you can't be angry at the kid. 
A great example is on one of the British soaps. A teenage boy killed a mother of 2 leaving her husband devastated, the boy went to jail and so anger and judgement could not be passed on him. So when the mother showed up she got all the shit. But eventually the husband realised it wasn't the mother's fault and that he was only blaming her because he couldn't do anything or say anything to the teenage boy. 
Most killers will have the most normal upbringings. It's awful but it just happens. I don't believe it's due to the parents at all

Answer

No. Unless they trained the kids and encouraged and are just bad people, of course.
But those parents suffer from their child's act of horror. No need to punish them. Especially when mental illness is a variable.

Answer

I have yet to see a sociopath or a psychopath come from an average home. There's always something that lies beneath. Clearly unintentional in most cases.

Answer

Some kid in Oregon dropped a firework off a cliff. So far it has burned 10,000 acres of national forest. You bet I judge their parents. There is ash falling from the sky all over Portland and surrounding towns.

Answer

This is a hard question to answer. Idk if it'll make me sound bad, but I kind of do judge a bit. I try not to, but it's hard not to. I wonder how the parent(s) didn't notice signs, check up on their kid, notice a change in their kids behavior, etc. also wonder if the kid was neglected. I mean, a parent sees their kid every day, it makes me wonder how they don't catch on to their depression or mental illness. Same thing for kids that act bratty in stores and restaurants, and the parents just turn their head and pretend not to notice. Those are the ones I kind of judge most.

Answer

I think that judging parents is always something that is done/is going to be done. A lot of times people say it's in their upbringing (too strict/involved or not strict/involved enough) but if a kid is shooting up a school I'd be more inclined to look at the peers and how they treated the kid. I'd also try finding out about the kid and if mental issues had anything to do with the action carried out. Ultimately it's a tragedy and there's no time for judgement because people are mostly mourning and regrouping while trying to find somewhere to place blame/make out a reason why.

Answer

If they were abusive to the child or didn't recognize signs or them being off in some sort of way and getting help for that, then sure. But not just in general.

Answer

I usually wait to hear more about the circumstances. Sometimes when these kids were horribly abused or neglected I hold the parents at least a little responsible. For the most part I feel really bad for these parents.

Do you judge parents for their kids actions?

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