Please help--Family & Self-Esteem Issues.

Ri

I just turned 18 four days ago, and I feel so stuck and confused. I recently went through a break up where I was completely abandoned after being together for a year and a half, I moved states, I have no dependable/nontoxic family members that are anywhere close or willing to help me. I live alone with my alcoholic father who is verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive. My mother isn't in the picture. I've always been a "daddy's girl," but he has become so ill mentally and everyday I find myself wanting out more and more. He has done everything for me and will continue to do so, but living with him is making me miserable. I feel guilty for wanting to leave once I graduate, and go stay on campus...I know that if I leave my dad will basically disown me, things won't ever be the same between us again. I'm feeling absolutely crushed and defeated, and I just want my family and to be happy--but my father hasn't changed no matter how much I have begged. What do I do? Has anyone else had to deal with toxic parents?