I am 21 and the relationship with my boyfriend is extremely complicated. We've known each other for over a year now. We started dating back in April but now we aren't. We are exclusive with each other, but not together. He voiced to me that he wasn't over his ex he'd dated for a year, but he knew he wanted me. So this is where we are. I'm semi happy. I still have him in a way, but not completely. Everyone expresses how mature and understanding I'm being, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. But now I am considering going on a mission. One of my main issues is leaving him. All I want is to be with him and I don't want to lose him. I feel like I've already lost some of him to his ex. It's 18 months that you are gone and we have both expressed that we are afraid one of us may change in that span of time and not want the other person. But he still encourages me to go, saying he'd be proud of me and that maybe it'd be good for me. That he doesn't want to be the reason I choose not to. But he's also said that it's extremely difficult for him to be alone. He admitted that if I did leave for a mission, he will date. He'll come back to me if I still want him when I get back, but that he doesn't feel comfortable waiting for someone whose feelings may change by the time I get back. So I'm unsure what to do. I can't say I'm completely comfortable with this situation we are in because I do think I want to go, but I don't want him dating while I'm gone, even though I can understand his reasoning. He's my first real boyfriend honestly and I don't know what I'd do if we ended things. Any advice on what to and how to handle it? Thank you!