Feeling discouraged (kinda long post)

I am starting to feel like my boyfriend just doesn't care about me anymore. He doesn't talk to me like he cares anymore and I have to beg for sex and i just don't feel attractive to him any more. He's never cheated but he gives me "love taps" in the face all the time and I ask him why he does it and he tells me because it's funny me being mad is funny to him. I feel like I'm just someone that's here for now and like the more weight I gain the less attractive I am and the more weight he loses he's feelin himself and I don't know what to do I feel like my self esteem is really low these days and my birthday is right around the corner and all we're doing is arguing. Some days I feel like we have a chance other days I don't I feel like he doesn't even like me. I feel like he doesn't like celebrating my birthday because he hated celebrating his own. I feel like 8 years I have wasted on him because he doesn't make me feel like I'm appreciated anymore. I don't wanna end things I feel like I should keep trying to make it work but then I feel like why should I continue to waste my youth if he doesn't even really care to try anymore?

Update I wanted to cuddle and he got annoyed and told me to leave so I told him if I walked out that door me and jellybean are gone and he said leave so we left 8 years gone just like that