So a little background... my bf and I met almost 2 years ago, but had a break for a month last summer for him to "figure things out". I have a 2.5 year old son with someone else. My bf and my son have a great relationship and bond.

We have been living together since March, but just moved into a bigger apartment in July. I lost my job right before we moved. Fortunately, my bf has a great job with a great salary and is able to pick up the slack. I am getting unemployment, but after paying my personal bills and getting diapers, etc I don't have much left. I have been able to do most of the food shopping for all of us as well. Every month I offer to give my bf whatever money I have leftover to put towards bills and he declines. I feel so awful that I am not contributing.

Yesterday, my bf told me he hasn't been happy bc he has been picking up some extra shifts at work and he is paying for everything. He has one class left to get his bachelors degree but he hasn't registered yet because he said he can't afford it now. He's taking a 5 day trip with his friends that he keeps complaining to me that he should cancel to save money. He isn't coming right out and saying everything's my fault but all of these little complaints basically implies it. I understand where he's coming from but it's hurtful and idk how I could fix it.

To top it all off, we had a conversation about our future (because he never talks about it) and he said he has no idea when he will be ready for marriage because he "just wants to make sure". I'm just so hurt because I have been SO sure that he is the one. I'm 29 and he's 30 and while I don't want to get married tomorrow, I'd like it to happen in the near future. And just for context: he was previously in a 5 year relationship and got burned by his ex.

Job searching has been a nightmare and bringing my confidence down on top of all these other feelings. I originally wasn't writing this for advice but if you have any, feel free! 😩😌