Do I go for it?

I've been into this guy since February but I can't tell if it's just not a good time or not a good match, or if I'm just too scared to tell him how I feel. We've become pretty close friends during this time, and I *think* he's flirted with me but I'm honestly so bad at knowing whether it's a flirt or just a nice personality 😩 I've also heard rumors that he likes big girls which is nice for me because I need someone who's also comfortable with my body but there's a fine line bordering on fetish and I don't have the emotional energy left in me for that mess. at this point I think the biggest thing holding me back is that he'd want to date within his ethnicity, which I totally understand for reasons I won't go into here (btw we're different ethnicities) but I just want him to want me back 😭 I've prayed about this boy and waited for a "no" or "not yet," but after (way too) close to a year of radio silence, I'm so lost and don't know where to go from here. Of course if I never go for it and we're only friends, I would be happy with that because he's an amazing person. But I would hate to look back on this time of my life and always wonder "what if?"