What would you do?

Question

You find out that your Grandfather died. The funeral has passed. Your estranged father chose not to call you or your siblings and tell you. The funeral was in the same city. Your father lives one mile away.

What do you do? Do you confront your father who will absolutely blame you for not knowing better? Let it go and deal with your grief alone? How do you cope with the anger that you were denied the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one?

Answer

Let it go. Do your own memorial service with your siblings.

Answer

Idk about confronting Dad bc it sounds like that will just cause more heartache. I'd say pay respects to Grandpa to the best of my ability. Unfortunately you can't change what's already passed. That's a really cruddy situation ☹️

Answer

I would make it a point to ask him to please inform you sooner of any other family members that pass because it's important for you to be at the ceremony.

Answer

I don't know what I would do, but I am truly sorry for that doubling of pain. The magnification of loss here is heartbreaking.

Answer

Ugh, that sucks. You could confront him, but at this point it sounds like you were estranged from him for a reason. I'd just visit the grave. Maybe you and your siblings can have your own memorial "service"? Even if it's just getting together for a sibling night and reminiscing.

Answer

dont confront "father" but have your own private memorial service to mourn your grandfather.

Answer

Let it go and grieve alone/with siblings.  Confronting dad will profit nothing.

Answer

Without knowing all the details, I would say don't confront anyone. It really isn't his responsibility to contact every family member and tell them individually, especially if you're estranged. That's why obituaries are published. If no one in your entire family contacted you or your siblings it sounds like that was intentional. And the fact that none of you were in contact with your grandfather to know he had passed says something about your relationship with him. Funerals are usually not open invitation. I would hold my own service or visit his grave.

What would you do?

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