Just some venting.

This month marks 4 long years of ttc with one miscarriage at 13w1d. Last month I did my round of Femara. I'm currently 11 DPO and tested this morning. It was a bfn. I'm losing hope for this cycle. All I have are sore nipples (common for af) and a heavy feeling in my uterus occasionally. I know that hoping the first round works is what we all do. But I knew that was a long shot. I already refilled my Femara for this month and hoping that if I don't get my BFP this cycle, I will next cycle. I have days where I'm good and I feel strong. But then nights like tonight when my in laws are asking if I'm "tired beyond belief yet" and all that...so much pressure. And my husband wants me pregnant so bad he can't even THINK men or being pregnant is possible yet. Pcos and hypothyroid suck!!!! I just want my body to do what t was designed to do 😭 my in laws used to talk about how their other grandchild would be their only and totally belittle me as a woman since my. It's couldn't do what it needed to. Now they wanna act all excited. I could scream. I plan on hiding it from them for a long time I think. Just to be spiteful. When they told me to "just get over" my miscarriage, that's when I decided to not let them know anything I wouldn't tell a stranger. Thankfully my husband agreed with my decision. Ugh. I feel better. Thanks for reading!