Its almost a year since I got out of a "toxic" relationship but sometimes I feel guilty for leaving and I feel I will be "punished" for breaking up with him. he's a soft-spoken guy, he's funny and kind but at the time he was dealing with some heavy stuff and I felt like it was best that he get help instead of focusing on the relationship. I felt really guilty because he said everything else in his life was going wrong and he expected us to fall apart because nothing worked out for him. he said he

was failing school, he was having

issues at home and he was concerned I didn't find him attractive...

(that led to some other issues) I

wanted to support as a friend, but even that became burdensome. I was called selfish and accused me of cheating then made me feel as though I was the one with all the issues. he demanded to know whether I loved him or not and then asked me for forgiveness because he thought he was going to die. (he didn't) after that it was like nothing happened. he said sorry and wanted to be friends again. and I refused. it was a big step for me and I was scared to do it. I still don't think I've fully recovered. I feel guilty about talking about it because I'm scared I imagined it and I was really the monster. my therapist said I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and even with that confirmation I still feel guilty. I got into a new relationship eventually and we're going through a rough patch. I feel sad because I think this is what I get from not sticking through my ex's issues. I feel as though I am getting what I deserve and I won't find anyone else who is willing to be as generous as he was trying to be for me. I feel because I broke up with him I have to be content with whatever misfortune comes my way because I really hurt him.