Forewarning, this is pretty personal. 😕

Normally, I wouldn't post things like this, but I just need someone to vent too. My husband and I have been together 6 years, married 3....and we've literally been in a slump with our intimacy and sex life for about 3. I've gained weight, we had a kiddo (who is 3) and he works a lot and I'm a stay at home mom. Now, he's a carpenter...so I know he works rally hard. He's up at 4, works all day and gets off work by 4 and actually walks in the door around 530 or 6. Saturday's, he takes a "him" day, where he goes with my uncle and fishes from 5 a.m. until 6 p.m. (Mind you, I never get to take a "me day" I know...boring, blah, blah, blah....just get to it. But I think the background info will help with input. He's been asking for a while to do something different in the bedroom. Not anything crazy, just different positions and whatnot. I've been reluctant because if I'm being honest, I have a hard time having an orgasm unless it's missionary. A lot of times I feel too like just a hole. Because if I don't and he does, he just cleans off and goes straight to sleep. So, today, while he was fishing, I texted him and went out on a limb. Told him I wanted to record is from his point of view. I was talking pretty dirty and he was pretty damn excited. I even took the extra time and care to really "groom" the lady bits. He comes home, (by this point I'm just so excited and waiting to put the little to bed to have amazing sex with him) eats, and just starts complaining about how tired he is and that the sun whooped him and his gums hurt? Like, I just had this wave of hot sadness come over me, to the point of tears. I asked him...but what about what I was messaging you all day about....he just got up said im just too tired, and went to bed. I'm sitting here with my feeling so hurt. I mean, I get it...when he works and he's not interested because hes beat I'm fine. But the him time to relax and comes home just as tired or moreso, It makes me angry. So now, I'm just like screw it. I was so willing to go out of my comfort zone, just to get rejected. It would be different if he had said earlier this evening that he wanted a raincheck until tomorrow. 😒 Now, I've lost all interest and when I wake up tomorrow, I'm ready to just leave him with the little and go. And honestly, as childish as it may seem, I'm more than ready and willing to withhold sex when he's ready and turned on, just to let him know how it feels. Ok....sorry....rant over.