relationship query

have you read fifty shades of grey? everyone talks about how great it is. I love the books but not for the steamy content. but because my life with my husband is just like Anna's with Christian. the emotional rollercoaster. not the sub dom thing. my husband treats me just like Christian treats her. and I act just like her. scared of absolutely everything because how she's scared of punishment I'm scared of ridicule and being a disappointment. and my husband is scared to love or show emotions just like Christian. how do I let him know he's basically tearing me apart yet I'm to scared to say anything. any time I do he make me the bad guy