Help i think (csa/abuse tw)

I dont really know if I need help or anything (or if this is the right group?) but I think my dad is sexually abusing me. This is going to be long so please bear with me

During my childhood I can't remember most of my home life. I have no idea what happened to me except for a few memories that came back. My dad would call me stupid and hit me sometimes after i broke a rule. Something big happened and I was scared every time I was near him. I flinched every time he touched me and my mom knew how terrified I was

When I was 13-14 my dad was drunk and he came into my room. I could feel his hand on my chest very near my breasts (im flat chested so idk) he then moved his hand down to my waist, the my hips. I shoved him off before he can do anymore. He claims it's just how he shows his love since I'm his daughter. I remember screaming and crying and saying No Stop touching me

A few other occasions is when he would touch my thigh. Like if I sat in the front seat and if we were alone he would touch my thigh.

Another time was when it was on my birthday and I was wearing a spaghetti strap dress and it went down to my mid thigh (just about) he looked at me and I could feel his eyes follow me. He said I looked good, real good. I hated the way he looked at me. It scared me. a lot of times I'm just terrified of being alone with him. I'm incredibly sensitive to others people who touching me and I think I became sensitive when after the few blank spots in my memory.

I don't know what to do or who to tell. I don't think I can just tell the police. I don't even have any proof