Would you say this was a good arrangement?

Question

Disclaimer: I am thinking far into the future with this one and am making no immediate plans. Please no freaking out.
Because of a combination of bad childhood examples, some slight issues with me, plans for other parts of life, the combination of traits I want in a partner being rare, financial concerns etc. etc., I think I might not want a partner. However, I have always wanted to have a baby at some point, but there are also plenty of troubles involved with single parenting (not saying it's bad! It's just tough). 
A while ago, I was reading an advice column (guilty pleasure) which regarded a solution to this quandary: two friends (and no more than friends) who had had bad luck in love were considering having kids artificially and then marrying to raise them. They could be with other people if they were very discreet and they could divorce on prearranged terms once the youngest was of age. These people loved each other (just not that way) and both were deeply committed to being good parents.
I don't really remember the response, but this 'pure parent' agreement sounds like the ideal solution with the right person. Of course there's things that can't be predicted, but that's true with everything. Can you see this being feasible? Why or why not? Has anyone actually done this?

Accepted Answer

I don't understand why marriage has to be a part of this plan. Why not just be roommates raising kids together? I think it's a terrible plan that will end in one of two ways. Either one of you will end up having feelings for the other and get jealous when they have relations with other people, OR one of you will meet the love of their life and won't be able to marry that person because they're already in a fake marriage so they'll resent their fake spouse. The whole arrangement will be confusing for the kids. The kids will think they have to sneak around with people they love, they won't see the dynamics of a healthy loving relationship. They won't learn appropriate levels of affection shared by a couple. And if you choose to tell them you're in a happy real marriage, when you divorce it will affect them. It's just a bad idea built on deceit and lies.

Answer

Feel like this will go up in flames quickly. Why not just have a kid together and agree to be civil and legally take care of each other and the child? 
   
I understand the relationship aspect might work for some, but sexuality plays a much larger role in sustaining a marriage than one might think.

Answer

In my own way, I made this plan. So many men left me because it's SO EASY to just jump on tinder and jump on 50 girls in a 5 mile radius because I didn't reply to their texts in under a minute. I even said on this app how I'm just gonna slut around and get pregnant because clearly I'm not meant to be loved, but I definitely want to be a mother of many more children. 
One person even told me on this app "look, you're about to meet the love of your life", and sure enough I did meet my current ~boyfriend~, and things are hopefully gonna be serious/committed soon.... 
however if I didn't meet him, I would be doing exactly what you're planning. Some people are monogamous, some are polyamorous, others are simply individuals who have gone solo so long that incorporating a partner just doesn't seem like something that can fit into your routine.

Answer

No. This sounds horrible. A single parent home or a coparent situation would be far, far better than a life built on a falsehood, as it seems like they'd be trying to keep this arrangement from their kids. 
Kids are too apt at discerning relationship dynamics for this, and besides, I believe a life or childhood built on dishonesty is not healthy.

Answer

I don't think it would be a good idea to actually get married in this situation, especially if you are not planning to be "monogamous" with someone you are strictly platonic with. 
But otherwise, it could work if you lay out boundaries and stuff prior to having children.

Answer

I don't see why anything would be wrong with it? They've been friends for years, both want children, and will agree to raise the child together? What's the difference between this & people who break up before the childs even born.

Answer

I don't see the point in actually getting married though? Can't you just do the same thing and raise a child with someone without getting married? 
I don't think there's anything wrong with the coparenting with a friend aspect of it though, I mean why not?

Answer

No. Sounds way too messy.

Answer

The biggest issue I see is raising your child pretending you're together, you won't behave like partners and that'll set your child's idea of how a relationship works, I think it'd be much better if you were honest with them

Answer

I think you'd be better off raising a child alone, because that's an honest and healthy relationship with you and your child, no strings or weird regulations with someone else attached. It also leaves open the possibility of finding a partner in the future. There's nothing wrong with single parenting, and I think it would be less harmful than co-parenting with a friend long term.

Would you say this was a good arrangement?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey