I'm so tired..

(This is mostly me venting) I'm so tired.. I'm tired of my job and the mean guys I work with.. I'm tired of dealing with all this drama at home... I'm tired of fighting to put a smile on my face when all I want to do is ball up and cry.. I'm tired of fighting.. why do I have to have all these things go on in my head? Why can't I be in a room full of people and feel fine and not have a panic attack and overthink.. why does my mind tell me everyone hates me and i don't do anything but mess everything up.. it's my mind but I feel like I can't control it.. I was doing so good for so long.. I was actually happy and now I just feel overwhelmed.. I just want to sleep but I just lay here and overthink about everything.. I don't know what to do... everything was perfect and now it's crumbling down on top of me and I feel like I have no one by my side.. I'm scared.. my chest feels like there's a knife in it going deeper every time I breathe.. I have tears rolling down my face and I can't stop.. the flashbacks won't stop and I don't know how to stop them.. what do I do.. I'm so close to being done.. my mind truly is my worst enemy...